After watching some boring Olympic events, I wandered onto a site that my future brother-in-law, Martyn, has written for, KillingtheBuddha.com (KtB). I was drawn to one of the headlining, recent post by Dr. Stephen Prothero, as he is Martyn's dissertation adviser.
Prothero discusses his visit to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem and his thoughts on Obama's visit and prayer offered to the Wall. One of the lines from the article struck me. "And the mystic in me knows if God is anywhere then God is everywhere." I read this line a few times. It is simple and powerful. And really makes me contemplate my connection to the Divine, right down to the core belief in something that powerful and omnipresent.
You see, religion has weaved an interest tale in my own history. I was raised a Roman Catholic. I was baptized and confirmed in the RC Church and attended, albeit mostly forcibly, for the better part of my youth. Yet as I learned more history and science and moved past what I was supposed to believe to how I want to believe, my connection to the Catholic traditions faded to oblivion. While I believe the intentions and underlying principles of Catholicism are good-natured, I can not look past its artificial traditions that are exclusive and damning, instead of inclusive and open-minded.
How can a woman not be as divine as a man. Why do priests in the Catholic church have to be male? Why has this patriarchal tradition held women to second class status, in both positions of power and trust in their strength to decide what is right for themselves and their bodies? The definition of catholic (lower case "c") is "universal in extent, involving all; of interest to all." At some point, perhaps at the Councils of Nicaea, the church failed to recognize this simple meaning. It failed to involve or be of interest to all. But I digress.
The reason I felt a connection to Prothero's piece is that this professor has struggled with some of the many issues I to have with religion. One reason I still struggle is my conflict with prayer. There are many times when I wish to pray and begin to even. Yet I don't know who or what to? What is it accomplishing? Thinking about it now, I don't know if there is a right answer. Perhaps just praying to myself is sufficient. Perhaps the act of silent contemplation and sharing myself with myself is okay. Perhaps the multitude of thoughts, struggles, and conflicts that I keep unshared and couped up should be openly discussed, even if its only with myself and in my "prayers."
So, like many others, I struggle to understand it all. I strive to believe in the strength and beauty of the human spirit, while recognizing the short-comings in ourselves as well.
And for now, my "church" doesn't have to be anywhere, it can be everywhere.
2 comments:
What a treat to read this and learn more about you, Nick! I love what you wrote and can totally relate. I have some similar questions about prayer, and my thought right now is that maybe what's most helpful about prayer is admitting that I need help, that I can't do it on my own, and just letting go of the illusion of control and separateness. I love what you wrote about using prayer as a way to share about your struggles, to not keep them couped up inside. I also love what you wrote about God being everywhere and everything you wrote about women and equality and open-mindedness. Looking forward to hearing more from you....xo
Hi Nicki...I think prayer serves to comfort us--regardless of who 'receives' the prayer. We pray for support, to plead for mercy, for our loved ones to be healed, for strength, or just to be HEARD. I have faith that God hears and is mindful of my prayers but having that knowledge is not necessary to benefit from prayer. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
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